I promise.

The second biggest mistake i've ever made.
It was my fault I admit it.
I'm sorry.
and i sincerely apologize for what I've done.
Everybody must have take that I'm such a jerk now.
Maybe him too.
I seriously need some brain wash and I needa change my attitude.
Gonna keep myself LOW PROFILE from tomorrow onwards..
Be a quite girl.
that doesn't sound like me at all.
haihh. i should just change... :(
I'll be good.
I promise.

I'm explosive nowdays.

LOL.
MY GOODNESS.
I'm having severe moodswings nowdays.
Like seriously..
I feel bad about everything..
I mean.. like almost... EVERYTHING. :(
Pfft.
I don't know larh..
The Germans' are coming to my house tomorrow.
I'm excited!
...maybe not..
Time flies.
it's mid JUNE now.
the two weeks holiday is entering my history book SOON.
Just in two days time..
What theeeee heeccckkk. :(
I'm tense..
I don't like it.. x(
Hopefully everything's gonna turn out right.
I don't know why.
I just feel bad about everything right now..
I wanted cry so badly..
I don't think that I can still make it, to fake a smile in front of everyone..
I feel soooooooo lost..
KTHXBYE. :(

Can I?

Everytime you were just right beside me.
Everytime you pass by me.
you would sit beside me quitely..
And stare at me..
HA-HA.. You dumb.
I'm not afraid of anything.
I'm only afraid to see you with someone else..
You've given me the best momories.
I don't ask for more.
I don't deserve that much..
I'm just an ordinary girl.
An ordinary girl who loves singing. :)
There's so many extraordinary girls around you..
They're pretty, they're flawless..
They're perfect.
And so, I never expect anything from you..
never dreamt of get to be with you..
I mean..why would you EVER look up on me?
And entering your life was a mistake.
A big big mistake.
I'm gonna leave..quitely..
without you noticing..
But before I leave..
Can I have a small request..?
Can I have a hug..?
Just.. normal hug.
The warmth on you I've been seeking for.
The comfort you gave.
One last time.
For once, I wanna see you in the eyes..
For your eyes speaks a thousand words.
And that will be the last time..
there won't be a next time.
I promise.
This will be the last time I'll cry for you..
Can I..have the last hug?

Fun times.

9th June.
Wow.
I'm so happy.
We had a great time there.
Mcdonals! Tutti frutti! Hot ang mohs!
Hot guys! Skating! Shopping! You name it! x)
Best moment ever.
Although he didn't manage to make there..
But at least.. he tried..:')
I never have faith in myself.
I never believed in you.
I never thought I would stand I chance to be with you.
And I don't think it's ever gonna happen.
I don't deserve someone like you.
Flawless. Perfect. All-rounder.
The kinda flawless I wish I could be.
We're in such a close.. yet far distance.
I couldn't reach you.
I tried really hard forgetting you.
Try'na give up.
I don't wanna hurt myself anymore..
I may be strong enough to hold back my tears,
but definately not strong enough to go through all these..
I can't take it anymore.
I'm tired of it.
And so yeah, I think give up would be the best decision..
Ohh WAITTTT!
I got out of the topic.
Okayy, back to sunway.
I learned how to skate!
And finally I can skate.
What a great success! x)
Tutti frutti taste gorgeous!
I wanna go Sunway again. :(
Yes, and it's something worth dying for.
HEHE.

Thank you, ILY.

I'm happy.
Erm, not exactly.
But I'm satisfied.
Thank you. ILY.
For giving me so much unforgetable memories.
I don't ask for more.
Thank you..so much.
I don't want you to be mine.
You're just too good to be true,
too good to be mine.
Those memories. Bittersweet.
Unforgetable ones.
That belongs to us both.
They can take away tomorrow
and the future that we'll never know,
but they can never have yesterday.
You always choose to stay,
I should be thankful for everyday.
Heaven knows what the future holds.
Or at least where the story goes..
And that's what keeps me moving on.. :)
HE cannot make it to sunway tomorrow..
but he give me some good explainations..
I doubt that.. he might lie..
But i figure it out..
I trust him.
He brought me hopes,
he light up my life,
he meant a lot to me, he really does.
Thank you.
I LOVE YOU.

Teehee.

Haha. Getting along a little more positive.
A great thanks to my best buddy, Kai :')
I love her. Teehee.
Erm, feeling better now.
Going skating tomorrow.
TEEHEE.
Imma excited! x)
I figured it out.
I know what i'm gonna do.
And I know what is right for me.
I should control my retard-ness.
Ha-ha.
And change my whole character.
Erm.. and maybe, I'll SLOWLY give up, let go..
I mean I really tried my best, but I failed..
He meant alot to me.
He really do..:(
I promise my buddies not to talk about him anymore..
but I seriously do need someone to talk..
My fault, I keep telling them that I'm gonna give up..
But i ended up......... x(
i still couldn't let go..
and they got fed up..
ha..ha.. can't blame them..
i'm too annoying..
but i really need someone to listen..:(
nahh.. forget about it..
Maybe..I should just keep it all to myself.......:)
I need to learn how to be more..... independent.

Mix feelings.

I don't know.
Shyt, I've got to quit *I don't know-ING* :(
Going skating with my buddies this coming thursday.
The only thing that cheer me up a little.
HA-HA.. :(
Lol. I'm acting like a retard now..
I'm frust, sad, happy, touch, guilty, everything, you name it.
It's like a bit of everything..:/
I need someone to talk to..
I mean..
I've got my buddies to talk to but.. I don't know where and how to start..
Okay.. i need to be positive. Everything is gonna be just alright.
it doesn't sounds convincing enough.. :(
In a really terrible mood this few days.
Hopefully..
Sunway outing this thursday would be able to cheer me up a little.

I. dont. know.

Like seriously, all I could say is just I DON'T KNOW.
everything's settled..i guess? :(
but i still feel bad about it..
I can't stop blaming myself for it..
WHY?
He didn't blame nor scold me..
that makes me feel even worst..
i feel like a monster..
aiks.. i don't like it. :(
I seriously don't know what to do after this..
I can't act like nothing has ever happened..
Stupid me..
I'm sensitive, and I feel insecure..
I'm afraid.
I'm a jerk. x(
I'm so lost in frustration now.
Somebody, save me please.
I'm about to die... :(
Pfft.
Yeah, like i said..
I don't know larh.

Feeling blue.

I'm so frustrated.
Deleted the previous blog.
I couldn't verify the email, so i deleted the whole thing.
This is a new blog. Kindaa plain.
Can't blame me, i don't have enough time. :(
Give me a week time, I'll add loads of stuffs and make it interesting.
I promise. :)
I'm not angry.
I'm just frustrated.
I lose a good listener.
Yeah, it's my fault, I brought up a fight with him.
I'm not asking for a fight, I'm just reciting the facts.
I just saying how I feel.
I need someone to talk to.
I'm so frustrated, I've got loads of problems.
Who would ever be there for me? I just need someone to talk to..
Maybe my best buddies? but.. i don't know how and where to start..
Cause I usually don't tell people my problems.
I hide it from everyone.
I act as if I'm strong enough and I can handle it myself.
Now I feel sorry for someone.
Which I offended.
I wrote something about my thoughts and feelings.
He read, and it might sounds a little offensive to him, more precisely, alot.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings.

5th JUNE.

He didn't turn out today.
Can't deny it. I miss him.